NFL FanHouse

Big Brown Wins Preakness

Michael David Smith — Sat, 17 May 2008 18:05:00 EST

Filed under: Horse Racing, Baltimore, The Word

Big Brown did it again today, racing to a dominant victory at the 133rd running of the Preakness Stakes and getting one step away from becoming the first Triple Crown winner in 30 years.

Big Brown went off as a huge favorite at the Pimlico Race Course in Baltimore, with the odds reaching an amazing 1-5 as just about everyone bet on the favorite to win. It was justified. Big Brown cruised early and galloped away late, absolutely obliterating the field down the stretch. Although Gayego got off to a good start and had an early lead, there was never a point at which Big Brown appeared to be in any trouble.

He ultimately won by more than five lengths. Macho Again placed and Icabad Crane showed.

Jockey Kent Desormeaux and trainer Rick Dutrow have a great horse, a horse that will now be favored to win a place as one of the greatest in history at the Belmont.

Big Brown Wins Preakness originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Sat, 17 May 2008 18:05:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Chicago Tribune Uses Death of Eight Belles for Stupid Hillary Clinton Editorial

Michael David Smith — Fri, 09 May 2008 13:08:00 EST

Filed under: Chicago, Horse Racing

A couple of hours after the death of Eight Belles at the Kentucky Derby, the political blogger Kevin Drum wrote this:

Hillary Clinton chose filly Eight Belles to win the Kentucky Derby today. Instead, EB came in second and then had to be euthanized after breaking both ankles right after crossing the finish line. So here's the contest: Who do you think will be the first pundit/columnist/talking head to use this as an idiotically extended metaphor for the state of Hillary Clinton's campaign?

I don't know who the first was, but I know that one of the dumbest came from the Chicago Tribune, which wrote this in a Thursday editorial:

The only filly in the crowded field crossed the finish line second, but the fans who'd bet on her still had one last gasp of hope. Perhaps some fortuitous technicality would disqualify the first-place finisher. But things got worse instead of better. We're talking about Eight Belles, who was euthanized Saturday after almost winning the Kentucky Derby. But we're thinking about Hillary Clinton.

The editorial, which finished with, "There's no reason to wait until August to put Clinton, and the rest of us, out of our misery," was stupid on many levels, most importantly that it trivialized important points about both the presidential race and the safety of horses in racing. Also, was there really anyone who bet on Eight Belles thinking, "Gee, I hope some fortuitous technicality disqualifies Big Brown"?

Timothy J. McNulty, the Tribune's public editor, wisely wrote today that the editorial was wrong, although in my view he doesn't go far enough. I'm always leery of comparing political campaigns to horse races, but suggesting that a candidate, like an injured horse, needs to be put out of her misery is beyond tasteless.

Chicago Tribune Uses Death of Eight Belles for Stupid Hillary Clinton Editorial originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Fri, 09 May 2008 13:08:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Chad Johnson Wasn't the Only Man to Beat a Horse Saturday

Michael David Smith — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 06:57:00 EST

Filed under: Bengals, Horse Racing, Track and Field, Cincinnati

On a day that the United States had two unexpected winners of big horse races -- Chad Johnson showing a man can beat a horse at Cincinnati's River Downs race track and Rags to Riches showing a female can beat a male at the Belmont Stakes -- the United Kingdom also had a horse racing upset.

Florian Holginger finished 11 minutes before the first horse to win the annual Man versus Horse Marathon in Wales. The Marathon -- which at 22 miles is a bit shorter than a standard human-only marathon -- is a sporting event that started the way so many great things start, as an argument at a bar:

The event started in 1980, when local landlord Gordon Green overheard a discussion between two men in his pub, the Neuadd Arms. One man suggested that over a significant distance across country, man was equal to any horse. Green decided that the challenge should be tested in full public view, and organised the first event.

As it turns out, the vast majority of the time, the horse is superior. Holginger is only the second man to beat all the horses in the 28-year history of the event. So congratulations to Florian Holginger and Chad Johnson for showing yesterday that man can beat horse even at horse's own game. Our whole species thanks you, gentlemen.

(That picture isn't from the Man versus Horse Marathon. I'm not sure what's going on in that picture, actually, but it looks like that man might be racing that horse through a river or something.)

Chad Johnson Wasn't the Only Man to Beat a Horse Saturday originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Sun, 10 Jun 2007 06:57:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Chad Johnson Beats Horse in Race

Sportz Assassin — Sat, 09 Jun 2007 18:00:00 EST

Filed under: Bengals, AFC North, Horse Racing, Cincinnati

Chad Johnson beat the race horse "Restore the Roar" in a race at Cincinnati's River Downs race track today. From the Bengals official site:

Chad Johnson stunned the world Saturday when he beat a four year old thoroughbread at River Downs by a dozen lengths. Johnson, who ran 110 yards compared to Restore The Roar's 220, said the Bengals are going to go to the Super Bowl now and do what the Colts did last year.

Chad also said that this is just the first of several wild things he will do for charity [this was for the Feed The Children foundation]. He said on ESPNews that he wants to set up a sparring match with Floyd Mayweather and a one-on-one match with Kobe Bryant or LeBron James, both being for charity.

You can watch the race and listen to Ocho Cinco's comments here.

Chad Johnson Beats Horse in Race originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Sat, 09 Jun 2007 18:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Chad Johnson To Race Against a Horse

Sportz Assassin — Thu, 31 May 2007 12:42:00 EST

Filed under: Bengals, AFC North, Horse Racing

Bengals' wide receiver Chad Johnson will race against a horse (Hat tip: Lance McAllister) at River Downs on June 9th. The stunt will raise money for the "Feed The Children" charity.

"Man vs. Beast" as it has been billed, will take place on the turf course. The horse will break from the inside from a starting gate at the eighth pole while Johnson will break from the outside rail going 1/16th of a mile to the wire. The distances are calculated to give the fans a photo finish.

His opponent will be "Restore the Roar", a 4-year old colt. And this isn't the first time a Bengal wide-out has raced a horse. Back in 1993, Chris Collinsworth tried to do it and lost by a nose. Jockey P.J. Cooksey, who defeated Collinsworth on that epic day, will also ride Retore the Roar against Ocho Cinco.

(Photo Credit: Getty Images)

Chad Johnson To Race Against a Horse originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Thu, 31 May 2007 12:42:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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The Debriefing: If Vick's a Jerk, So Are Preakness Organizers

mjd — Wed, 23 May 2007 09:00:00 EST

Filed under: Falcons, NFL Media Watch, Horse Racing

The Debriefing runs every weekday at 9:00 a.m. here on FanHouse. It goes deep into one issue and then bounces around to a plethora of smaller ones ... and does it all in a way that will make you feel like the prettiest girl at the cotillion. Bookmark this page, and visit daily.

Michael Vick is dealing with this dog fighting controversy all wrong. Stop distancing yourself from it, Mike, stop issuing all the "no comment"s, and wrap your arms around this thing. You're not saving face by hiding, you're missing a tremendous marketing opportunity.

Hire some PR people, design a snazzy NDFF (National Dog Fighting Federation) logo, get a championship belt to fit a pitbull, and get it a TV deal on NBC. Because if animal violence is televised and enjoyed with a mint julep, then it's perfectly acceptable.

I'd also recommend taking one particularly charismatic pitbull, grooming it as a noble and magnificent champion (name it something like "Marmaro," maybe), and then have it brutally mauled to death during a nationally-televised pit fight. You'd be surprised at how much people love that stuff.

If you strip away the pretty silks, the pristine race tracks, the women in their pretty hats, and the multi-million dollar TV deal ... are horse racing and dog fighting that much different? Is there no irony to be found in the fact that sports pages everywhere paint Vick as a pariah for his alleged involvement in dog fighting, while at the same time lionizing the jockey who whipped Curlin into a first-place finish at the Preakness? The only difference is that when the dogs are injured, Vick isn't sitting on top of them with a leather instrument of pain.

Animal cruelty is animal cruelty ... it shouldn't matter if it takes place in Michael Vick's parlor, a dirty back alley, or at the neatly manicured grounds of Pimlico.

And before we go any further, let me make this clear: I am not defending Michael Vick. If the dog fighting allegations are true, Vick absolutely is a scumbag. I abhor dog fighting. It's a sick, sick thing. I'd never defend anyone involved in it, let alone Michael Vick. The following is a brief list of things I will do before I defend Michael Vick: give John Daly a spongebath, buy WNBA season tickets, give Chuck Liddell a purple nurple, accept golf swing tips from Charles Barkley, order the "Ed Orgeron Teaches Diction" tapes, hit on Charles Oakley's girlfriend, and stand between Don Nelson and a case of Bud Light. So I hope we're clear on that. This is not a defense of Michael Vick.

I just want to know why horse racing is acceptable if dog fighting is evil. Do both take advantage of animals solely for the entertainment of humans? Yes. Are both responsible for the premature deaths of thousands of animals? Yes. Do both cause immeasurable suffering and injuries to the animals involved? Yes. Do human beings profit off of this pain and death? In both cases, yes. What other standards are there?

When a horse is forced to run before its skeletal system is fully developed, he's not thinking, "That really was a stirring rendition of 'My Old Kentucky Home.'" He's thinking, "Dammit, my hoof hurts like a bastard."

When a horse is pumped full of painkillers and anti-inflammatories so he can run through an injury, he's not thinking, "This is inconvenient and dangerous, but it's worth it, because the running of the urinals is such a grand tradition." He's thinking, "Hey, this feels pretty good," right up until he snaps his leg because the ground's too hard and he never should have been running to begin with.

And when he's in a truck being shipped to the slaughterhouse, the horse isn't thinking, "Well, I've had a great run, but I feel like since I helped Elroy Ryerson hit that exacta and buy himself an extra bottle of Thunderbird, I can go out on top." He's thinking, "I DON'T WANT TO DIE, GET ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS TRUCK."

I'm not arguing that horse racing and dog fighting are exactly the same; there are obviously varying degrees of animal abuse. If it's up to me, I'll take an 80 pound man sitting on my back whaling on me with a leather whip over a rabid pitbull sinking his incisors into my chest cavity. Horse racing might be a few degrees less inhumane than dog fighting, but that feels like splitting hairs. The dogs found on Michael Vick's property might not have had neat names like Swingin' Harry, Show Me Somethin', or Uncle Freddy's Unfortunately Weak Bladder, but then again ... Michael Vick's probably not selling off weaker dogs for human consumption in Europe or Asia, either.

People see Seabiscuit and have this romanticized notion of how well horses are treated, but very few horses get the Seabiscuit suite. Not every race horse gets the immaculate stable, the company of numerous female horses, and a feast of oats and carrots everyday. Not every horse gets to develop a close, personal relationship with Tobey Maguire.

And Barbaro, had he lived, would've probably enjoyed a higher quality of life than 30 or 40% of Americans. The amount of money spent on medical care for Barbaro was greater than the gross national product of a few African nations.

But most horses aren't in Barbaro's tax bracket. If a horse can't make money, or stops making money, he'll soon be holding together your child's next arts-and-crafts project. You know how much money would've been spent on Barbaro if he finished out of the money in the Kentucky Derby? About enough to buy a bullet and a ride in a dump truck. There's not enough time and space here to go over all the ways in which horse racing is cruel, but if you don't want to take my word for it, try here, here, here or here.

Presumably, people take the time to castigate Vick and his alleged filthy habit because they love animals and they care about their safety and protection. And that's good, we should all care about the humane treatment of animals. And judging from the outrage the Vick has generated, a lot of people care about animals.

But let's see if we can't extend that care to all animals, even to ones who might not be as cute and accessible as dogs, and even to ones who might not be fast enough to win some races.
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For the Scrapbook

AC Milan's Filippo Inzaghi celebrates in front of a group of people to whom he'd never want to be closer than he is right now. Milan beat Liverpool 2-1 yesterday in the Champions League Final. I'd congratulate them, but I sort of hate them.

Required Viewing

I like the little commercial campaign that the NBA has going, "Inside the Playoff Mind." The Chauncey Billups spot is very cool, and LeBron's spot is neat (even if he isn't yet an authority on the subject). From the idea to the execution to the production, this all seems like something the NFL would do. Which is a compliment for the NBA.

However ... "Inside the Playoff Mind of Damon Jones?" Is that ... are they serious about that? I saw the title on YouTube, and I thought "Wow, someone got a spoof of that thing up really quickly." But it's not a spoof, it's real. For some reason, it is real.

"Inside the Playoff Mind of Damon Jones." I love that. I can't wait for next week when they come out with "Inside the Playoff Mind of Ronald Dupree" or "Inside the Playoff Mind of The Stubby Guy Selling Hot Dogs in Section 152."

Sticking and Moving

It Gave It Away When He Called Himself "Zab Sr." ...

Zab Judah, I applaud your ingenuity. Zab was supposed to be on a conference call yesterday to promote his upcoming June 9th fight with Miguel Cotto. But Zab thought to himself, "Talking about how awesome I am, how I'm going to win, how the other guy is a chump ... do I really need to be there for that?" And he wasn't. He had his dad do the interview for him.

Bravo. I don't know if it was Zab's intention to make a grand statement about how lame and uneventful these teleconferences are, or if he just wanted to go see Georgia Rule and get a facial. But the end result is that the media's mad, they'll get the real Zab in for a phone interview, and he will say the exact same things.

Get Down With the Longform ...

For more on the importance of this year's NBA lottery, check out this excellent Bethlehem Shoals column. I hate to turn into one of those guys who's more interested in the things surrounding the game than the game itself ... but I can't deny that I was more excited about the lottery than I was for Spurs/Jazz Game 2. I don't know what it is about him, but the magnetic presence of NBA deputy commissioner Adam Silver just gets me all kinds of jacked up.

You Want Savagery? Michael Vick Will Show You Savagery ...

I like Tony Kornheiser (when he's not doing Monday Night Football) but saying that the UFC "celebrates savagery" is just downright goofy. They talk about boxing on PTI, yes? They've shown hockey fights? Those are okay, and UFC is savagery?

I'm not a UFC fan myself, but it's no more harmful than boxing. A UFC fighter might go through his career having a few bones snapped, getting choked out a few times, etc. But when he retires, he'll still be better off than a boxer who got punched in the head tens of thousands of times. And while the UFC world doesn't consist of 100% saintly people, it can't be any more crooked than boxing.

Those Yankee Boys Are SO Nice ...

The Yankees seem 20% less evil today than they did yesterday. The organization made a million-dollar contribution to Virginia Tech's "Hokie Spirit Memorial Fund" before last night's game against the Red Sox. Karma was paying attention, too, rewarding the Yankees with an 8-3 win over the Sox and a six-runs-in-six-innings pounding of Curt Schilling.

Then Again, Maybe They Should've Made it $2 Million ...

Roger Clemens didn't fare that well for the Trenton Thunder last night. He gave up three runs and six hits in 5 1/3 innings.

Roy Hibbert Would Like to Be Next Year's Greg Oden ...

At first, I was confused by Roy Hibbert's decision to stay at Georgetown another year. Chances were he'd be a late-to-mid lottery pick, and when guys are locks for the lottery, they usually come out.

Now that I think about it, though, this could end up being pretty smart financially for Hibbert. He's improved dramatically in his three years at Georgetown, and if he gets in better shape and adds another year of post moves, polish, and touch on his jumper, he could end up being the premier guy who the Celtics fail to get next year.

I Hope They're Not Paying Him by the Word ...

Congratulations to Keyshawn Johnson on his retirement, although I'm not sure if congratulations are really in order when you retire because no team values you nearly as much as you value yourself. Pro Football Talk is reporting that Keyshawn wanted a two-year deal for $12 million, which would be perfectly reasonable if Keyshawn was a power forward for the New York Knicks or 24 years old.

Anyway, Key retires and signs on immediately with ESPN, where he'll work on Sunday NFL Countdown. I caught a little bit of Keyshawn's first gig at the NFL Draft, and the best two words to describe him would be "kinda boring."

Yesterday's MVP

Filippo Inzaghi. I pretty much have to go with Filippo. I know he's not the sexiest choice, and I know that roughly seven of you have heard of him, but ... he did score two goals in yesterday's biggest sporting event. The first one was sort of accidental, but the second one was nice. But I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this is the last time Filippo Inzaghi will ever occupy this space.

Honorable Mentions: Ryan Church (3-for-5, 2 HRs, 6 RBIs for the Nationals against in a 12-7 win over the Reds) and Magglio Ordonez (2 HRs for the Tigers in an 8-7 win against the Angels).

Yesterday's Sad Sack

Cliff Lee. Giving up three home runs in 4 and 1/3 innings is one thing. Giving them up to the Royals, though ... well, this is not Cliff Lee's proudest day. The final tally included 10 hits and eight earned runs, and, of course, the loss.

The Evening's Agenda

7:00, ESPN2. MLS Soccer. Chicago Fire @ New York Red Bulls.
7:30, TBS. MLB. New York Mets @ Atlanta Braves.
8:30, ESPN. NBA Playoffs. Cleveland Cavaliers @ Detroit Pistons.
9:30, NBC. Scrubs. It's a repeat, but it's the musical episode from the season opener, which was fantastic.

The Debriefing: If Vick's a Jerk, So Are Preakness Organizers originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Wed, 23 May 2007 09:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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O.J. Simpson Won't Sue Over Restaurant Incident

Michael David Smith — Sat, 12 May 2007 12:37:00 EST

Filed under: Bills, Horse Racing

As we noted this week, O.J. Simpson was thrown out of a steakhouse the night before the Kentucky Derby, as the proprietor of the establishment didn't want the distractions caused by the Hall of Fame running back and double murderer (allegedly).

The Simpson camp had initially suggested that he might sue the restaurant, but now they say no lawsuit is coming. The reason? Any money Simpson makes would immediately be claimed by the family of Ron Goldman, the busboy Simpson murdered (allegedly). The restaurant owner had this to say:

"(I) got a phone call from the (Fred) Goldman Lawyer and he's (Simpson attorney Yale Galanter) not going to be able to do this lawsuit anyways, because they have already taken pre-emptive action in case there is a claim."

So I guess this means you can feel free to do whatever you want to Simpson without having to worry about a lawsuit. I wouldn't quite call that justice, but it's something.

O.J. Simpson Won't Sue Over Restaurant Incident originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Sat, 12 May 2007 12:37:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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O.J. Denied the Chance to Slice Up Beef

mjd — Wed, 09 May 2007 03:40:00 EST

Filed under: Bills, Horse Racing

For some news stories, the headline is enough. "O.J. Simpson thrown out of steakhouse" is certainly enough to make me chuckle. The Juice was looking to get into a steak the night before the Kentucky Derby, and the owner of the restaurant wasn't having it.

"I didn't want to serve him because of my convictions of what he's done to those families," [steakhoue owner] Jeff Ruby said in a telephone interview Tuesday. "The way he continues to torture the lives of those families ... with his behavior, attitude and conduct."

"I didn't want that experience in my restaurant," Ruby said, later adding that seeing Simpson get so much attention "makes me sick to my stomach."

He said he went to Simpson's table and said, "I'm not serving you." Ruby said when Simpson didn't respond, he repeated himself and left the room.

That is gangsta, Mr. Steakhouse Owner. My hat is off.

Although it would've been a little bit more awesome if he had gone up to O.J. and said, "I'll serve you a steak, sir, but I'm going to have a bus boy sit next to you and cut it up for you. We're just a little uncomfortable handing you a knife. You understand. Also, please don't make direct eye contact with any of the white women here. They're nervous around you."

O.J. Denied the Chance to Slice Up Beef originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Wed, 09 May 2007 03:40:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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Pit Bulls Kill Race Horse (Joey Porter Not Involved)

Michael David Smith — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 14:42:00 EST

Filed under: Steelers, AFC North, Horse Racing

The Spokane Valley, Washington race horse Drink the Wind, who won 22 races during his career, has had to be put down because of injuries sustained in a pit bull attack on Sunday.

It's the second time in the last six months that the sports world has encountered the bizarre set of circumstances of pit bulls killing a horse; pit bulls owned by Steelers linebacker Joey Porter killed a horse in September.

The pit bulls attacked Drink the Wind in its pasture after running from their yard, which was a block away. The dogs bit the horse's neck and muzzle, pulled him to the ground and mauled his face and neck.

The dogs' owner, Mike Schelin Jr., was cited for allowing dangerous animals to run at large."I'm really sorry it happened," Schelin said. "I feel bad about it, but dogs will be dogs, I guess."

Pit Bulls Kill Race Horse (Joey Porter Not Involved) originally appeared on NFL FanHouse on Thu, 01 Mar 2007 14:42:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.

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