Sorting the Sunday Pile, Week 7: Brett Favre Is Fallible

Sorting the Sunday Pile looks back at the NFL weekend that was. It's also an unofficial Cedric Benson blog.
The talk Monday will no doubt be about the officiating, specifically the tripping call on the Vikings that negated a third-quarter touchdown. A few plays later, Brett Favre fumbled, LaMarr Woodley scooped it up and ran it 77 yards for six, and the Steelers led by 10 instead of trailing by four. The bigger story: why the hell did Favre throw it 50 times with the NFL's leading rusher standing seven yards behind him all afternoon?

The Steelers are tough against the run, but Adrian Peterson is tough on defenses. That's sorta the point: people get tired of pretending to tackle him, and by the fourth quarter they quit. Not in the game plan. Instead, Brad Childress and Darrell Bevell decide that the Vikes' best chance to win came in the form of a 40-year-old gunslinger who was brought to Minnesota to hand the ball to Purple Jesus.

The Vikings have improved in each of Childress' four seasons. And that's swell, particularly in the post-Love Boat/Mike Tice era, but he'll always be the guy to do just enough to lose the games that count. Silver lining: that telemarketing headset is very becoming.

Jerry Dome: It's a Feature!

It took seven weeks, but the Cowboys finally have a legit win. Just like Jerry Jones had hoped. On top of that, it came in the shiny, new stadium. Which reminds me: in addition to all the other hidden gems in this architectural masterpiece, who decided to have one of the end zones facing due west? Nice touch, the natural light, but it's sort of a problem when the sun sets right in the players' faces. Upside: it's only a problem no more than eight times a year.

Browns Are Worse Than Imagined

Not sure what Derek Anderson has to do to get benched. At this point, it might include cutting off both arms. Of course, if you told me Anderson had played the entire 2009 season without limbs I wouldn't blink. In fact, it would explain a lot. Meanwhile, Brady Quinn remains anchored to the bench, presumably counting the $11 million No Arms Anderson is costing him. This just serves as a reminder that sometimes being a professional athlete isn't all about makin' it rain and dispensing beatdowns to random Western Pennsylvania Sheetz' bathrooms. Sometimes it sucks.

Kyle Boller Still Not Peyton Manning

Evidently, the Rams' scouting report was flawed. As it turned out, Peyton Manning didn't yell "Kyle Boller! Kyle Boller! ICE CREAM!"

Small Hands Smith Gets Chance

Power Alleys are underrated.

Also worth noting: Michael Crabtree played well in his debut (5 receptions, 56 yards). Maybe the whole, "If you're not in training camp don't expect to contribute as a rookie" theory no longer holds. The 49ers' 2005 first-round pick, quarterback Alex Smith, replaced Shaun Hill to start the second half ... and promptly threw three touchdown passes to tight end Vernon Davis (2006 first-round pick). That works out to 10 TD passes when you take into account Smith's child-sized mitts. Finally: dividends.

Captain Checkdow Could Be Outta Work

I'm pretty sure NFL executive VP of football operations Ray Anderson would gladly look the other way if Steve Smith decided to go "Ken Lucas" on Jake Delhomme. And as long as he passing out beatings, Kenny Moore, queue up.

And I guess the Bills have a quarterback controversy. For the second straight week, the Harvard egghead has played well in place of the injured Stanford egghead. That may have something to do with Ryan Fitzpatrick being able to throw the ball more than 10 yards down the field. When Trent Edwards won the job over J.P. Losman, he was a nice change of pace because he could throw the short pass. Turns out, that's all he can do. You don't get the nickname Captain Checkdown by winging balls all over the yard.

Belichick Prepared for Bucs by Sightseeing

At one point Sunday the Patriots led the Buccaneers 21-0. Going back to last week they had put up 80 unanswered points. They eventually gave up a Josh Johnson-to-Antonio Bryant touchdown, but that might have something to do with head coach Bill Belichick not really doing much in the way of preparation. To the post-game comments:

"I was here before and I didn't get a chance to see the, um, Churchill war bunkers and so I was able to swing over there yesterday. It was ... that was pretty interesting. Um, you know, how that was set up and how tight it was and, uh, all the ... you know, everything they gave, you know, during that time, you know, to fight off, you know, the London bombing and all that. It was pretty ... that was pretty special part of the trip."

It's almost as if I'm watching the History Channel.

Jam-Jam: A Brief History

April 2007: Selected first-overall by Raiders
Dec. 2007: Earned first NFL start against the Chargers.
Oct. 2009: After starting every game this season, and tossing two touchdowns and eight picks, Jam-Jam was benched for journeyman Bruce Gradkowski, a Buccaneers 2006 sixth-round pick.

If nothing else, it was a nice break for Mark Sanchez.

Cedric Benson ... HAHAHAHA

This is how bad the Bears are: J.T. O'Sullivan got into the game. Cedric Benson ran up and down the field on his former team like he was doing pregame wind sprints, Carson Palmer and Chad Ochocinco played catch for most of the afternoon, and after Cincy got up by seven scores, they brought in O'Sullivan, who looks like the hobo living in the bus station bathroom.

Good news: the Bears just signed Cutler to a huge extension. Maybe at some point before his contract is up the front office will have cobbled together an offensive line.

WWBD

I was all set to write my "THE SAINTS SHOULD HAVE TRADED FOR DAUNTE CULPEPPER BACK IN '06 INSTEAD OF GIVING RAG-ARMED DREW BRESS A CHANCE" diatribe after Brees' slow start against the Dolphins. But after trailing 24-3 in the first half, Brees and the Saints outscored the Dolphins 22-0 in the final quarter to win by 12. Nothing to worry about.

(Something that occurred to me as this game entered its sixth hour: New Orleans is the Red Sox or Yankees of the NFL. Every game lasts forever and apparently there's not much you can do to avoid it.

Something else that occurred to me: after watching the Dolphins continue to feature the Wildcat, the Browns should go Wildcat-only. Josh Cribbs is the best player on that team -- at just about every position, frankly -- and there is no reason to keep the ball out of his hands and put it in Derek Anderson's.)

Commence Sam Bradford Watch

Sam Bradford's college career is over. He'll have shoulder surgery, get healthy for the combine and subsequent pro days, and prepare for the NFL draft.

Might as well crank up the speculation machine on possible destinations: Cleveland and St. Louis are obvious destinations. And the Washington Redskins are another potential suitor because Jason Campbell's contract is up and, well, they're the Washington Redskins. Plus, with all the free time Jim Zorn now has with Sherm Lewis calling plays, he can focus on developing Bradford's talents.

Dark-horse candidate: Tennessee. Because not even Jeff Fisher thinks Kerry Collins or Vince Young is the long-term answer.

Post-Game Debaclings
Quotes that Emmitt Smith might like...

"Aggressive, intense, tough, physical, finishing ... consistency, execution (editor's note: I'm in favor of it!), communication ... good, solid, sound, fundamental, tough football. Physical football. Intense football. That's what I want every week." -Eric Mangini, making out his early Christmas list

"Very disappointed. Expected a lot more than what we got today." -Tom Cable, who then (allegedly) punched Randy Hanson in the face to send a message to the rest of his team

"You know, he has very good ... timing on certain things that ... I ... like to have a receiver have timing on." -Tony Romo waxing Austin Powers on Miles Austin. Romo continued, "Allow myself to introduce ... myself..."

This Week in Fake Tweets



Matt Snyder: aggrieved Bears fan, everybody!

Week 6's Pretty Picture


Miles Austin is good.