Phil Ivey Bet $800,000 on Cardinals +3.5 In First Half, Story Ends Badly

Every football fan in the country has two stories that nobody really likes hearing: a bad fantasy football week (Dude, I can't belieeeeve I benched Thomas Jones!) and a horrible beating they took gambling.

I dare you, however, to find a buddy that has landed as bad a beating as Phil Ivey did with his first half Super Bowl bet.

Ivey, who obviously treats money like most of us treat fingernail clippings, put $1.6 million on the Super Bowl spread out in two bets, one on the first half and one on the game. His game bet, the Cardinals getting seven points, covered easily. The first half bet? Well, I think you know how that went.

"The point is it was a 14-point coaching error, and it cost me about 800," Ivey told Barry Greenstein.

Yeah, not $800, but $800,000, with the Cardinals getting 3.5 points at half. Driving near the end zone, everyone in the world figured the game would, at worst, be 10-10 at the half, but that nasty interception from Arizona followed by the "this really can't be happening" return for 100 yards by James Harrison meant Ivey would not be cashing a ticket for more money than most people see in a lifetime.

I know I'll never have the chance to feel what it's like to do , certain things in the world. I have no idea how it might feel to do one of the things LeBron James does on a night-in, night-out basis. I couldn't tell you what Joe Carter must have felt when he jacked that home run to win the World Series. I wish I could taste the electricity that must have been flowing when Tiger Woods' "chip that couldn't have gone in" went in on 16 at the 2005 Masters, but I know I never will.

I do, however, know how much it sucks to lose money. It sucks. A lot. I just wonder how it feels when a play goes the other way on you and you lose the equivalent of three Bentleys. Probably a hint more horrible than a bad beating at the $5 blackjack table.

h/t Deadspin