Ocho Cinco to Spend Offseason in London, Africa; Will Leave Ohio When LeBron Does

Bengals fans might feel differently, but in remembering the reason for the season, I'm thankful for Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. I'd never want him playing on my team, but without a vested interest, he's fun to watch in a John Daly "train wreck" sorta way.

And it's with this in mind that I thoroughly enjoyed his Wednesday morning press conference. Johnson talked about getting sent home from last Thursday night's Steelers game, his long-term future in Cincinnati, as well as his plans for the offseason. Via the Enquirer's Mark Curnutte:

Concerning the Steelers: "I didn't get a chance to play. My dad deactivated me, punishment for his son. Other than that I'm back this week, ready to have some fun against some very good friends of mine. I'm looking forward to spoiling their playoff chances or whatever we have the chance to spoil."

Sounds like somebody has some daddy issues that might need to be addressed in therapy. But it gets better.

Q: Do you see yourself here, with the Bengals, next year?

Johnson: "Do you? ... When LeBron (James) is out (of Cleveland), I'm out, too? I don't have a choice. I'm here to 2010."

And then there's Mr. Cinco explaining what he'll do after the season:

"Yeah. I'm not going to pull that (stuff) again. I'm going to fade away. I'll be in London and Africa the entire offseason – Kenya. Whatever was going on over there is over. You won't have a chance to hear my mouth unless it's coming from all the way over there."

Which led to quite possibly the funniest comment in the history of the Al Gore Machines, courtesy of Enquirer reader BoobieClark: "What's the cap hit if he gets eaten by a wild animal?"

Technically, I think the Bengals would get that money back, and even if I'm wrong, I'm guessing Roger Goodell would be willing to make an exception. You know, special circumstances and all that.