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Are the 2008 Detroit Lions the Worst Team in NFL History?

Posted Nov 26, 2008 11:00PM By Matt Snyder (RSS feed)

Filed Under: Lions, NFC North, NFL Fans, NFL Real Talk

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As the Detroit Lions gird up their loins to hit the field of battle on another turkey day, they face quite a daunting task. No team in the history of the NFL has ever lost 16 games in the regular season. That's probably because they only play 16. You have to be a really, horrifically brutal football team to finish 0-16, which is why no one has accomplished that feat before.

A peek at the Lions schedule from here on out shows their task. Any win for an 0-11 team would be an upset, but this is a stout group left on the docket for Detroit. They play the Titans (10-1), Vikings (6-5), and Saints (6-5) at home, while traveling to face the Colts (7-4) and the Packers (5-6). The most winnable game would seem to be Green Bay, but beating the Packers in Lambeau on December 28th isn't an easy task for a team used to the indoors.

Simply put, I think the Lions are going 0-16. I actually have for quite some time.

Let's examine their profile against some of the worst teams in NFL history (Super Bowl era) to see where they might rank.

2008 Detroit Lions (0-16*)
* projected
Currently, they have quite an impressive resume. Last in scoring defense, 31st in total defense, an abysmal run defense, the ability to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory at home -- twice -- the list just goes on and on. When you sign Daunte Culpepper because Dan Orlovsky went down injured, that's a bad sign. Opposing quarterbacks have torched them for 18 touchdowns against only two picks. Sure, there are some bright spots, but overall this is just a terrible football team. A merely below average team would have won a game by now.

1991 Indianapolis Colts (1-15)
Only a one-point victory in Week 11 saved these Colts from immortality. They lost by double-digits 10 times, and ranked dead last in the majority of the offensive categories. They were also the worst in football against the run. Despite having Eric Dickerson, the discrepancy between run offense and defense was downright embarrassing. The Colts only gained 55 first downs via the run, while allowing 305 of the same variety. They only scored three rushing touchdowns all season, while allowing 23. Oh, and do you recognize their quarterback (right)? Hint: He's still looking for a job.

1989 Dallas Cowboys (1-15)
The rebuilding process was beginning with Jimmy Johnson and Troy Aikman being two of the new faces. Knowing what happened in the aftermath of this season, we're not even considering this one. I'm sorry, but I'm pretty confident in saying this year's Lions aren't on the cusp of a dynasty.

1980 New Orleans Saints (1-15)
They earn tons of brownie points because they brought us the "Aints." Seeing people in the stands of the Louisiana Superdome with paper bags over their heads is one of the iconic sights in the history of sports unsuccess. The lone bright spot -- or dull spot, depending on your point of view -- was a one-point squeaker over the Jets in Week 15. Archie Manning led a subpar, but not awful, offense. The true pathetic point of this team was the defense, which never allowed less than 20 points in a game. They did manage to allow at least 40 three times, though, so there's that.

1999 Cleveland Browns (2-14)
Despite being dead last in team offense and defense, I'm prepared to cut them a break because they found a way to win two games with Tim Couch at the helm. Plus, this was their first year back in existence, so the Dawg Pound would have been satisfied with pretty much anything.

2001 Carolina Panthers (1-15)
After taking a Week 1 victory in Minnesota, the Panthers managed to string together an impressive 15 straight losses under Chris Weinke's quarterbacking and George Seifert's coaching. They are equally pathetic on both sides of the football, ranking dead last in point and yardage differential. The offense did manage to end up ranked 30th (of 31), to surely slap their 31st ranked defense in the face.

1990 New England Patriots (1-15)
Just say the name Rod Rust to any longtime Patriots fan and see the reaction you get. Only a two-point victory in Week 2 against a mediocre Colts team kept them from the perfect run of losers. They couldn't manage more than 20 points after Week 1, though they allowed more than 33 seven times. They sported the worst passing offense and defense in the league.

1996 New York Jets (1-15)
Rich Kotite, Adrian Murrell, Frank Reich! J-E-T-S JETS JETS JETS! Kotite went 3-13 in his first season as the Jets head coach, so he decided to outdo himself in '96, by taking only a Week 9 tilt over the Cardinals. They actually did play in several close games and ranked 11th in total offense. Of course, they just couldn't get it done where it mattered. The record reflected their inability to score points after racking up the yardage (ranked 27th in scoring offense).

2007 Miami Dolphins (1-15)
The record speaks for itself, but they were in several of those games and just couldn't come out on top. While they were ranked near the bottom of the league in most categories, they seemed to always avoid being dead last (30th in scoring defense, 28th in total offense, 31st in point differential, etc.). They aren't nearly as qualified to be on this list as some of these other sad bunches. I also have a special place in my heart for head coach Cam Cameron, as he led my Hoosiers to five fruitless seasons.

2000 San Diego Chargers (1-15)
This was actually the best thing that ever happened to the franchise, because they were able to trade their ensuing No. 1 pick -- the Falcons coveted the dog-lover -- for two picks. They landed LaDanian Tomlinson and Drew Brees with those picks. This particular team, though, was an embarrassment, and you need look no further than their signal-caller. Mr. Ryan Leaf. They turned the ball over a mind-boggling 50 times, but at least they were consistent, because they never turned it over less than twice in a game. What I really like about these guys is they were creative. They could lose an all-field goal game (9-6 loss in Week 1), get bludgeoned to death (42-10 loss in Week 3), break your heart (38-37 loss in Week 12), or get blown out in exciting fashion (57-31 loss in Week 5).

1976 Tampa Bay Buccaneers (0-14)
And here is the true measuring stick of ineptitude. You want to prove the Lions are the worst team of all time, prove they are worse than this pathetic bunch. They did manage to come within a field goal twice, but sputtered down the stretch, getting blown up more times than not. They turned the ball over 37 times, ranked dead last in team offense, and mustered only five rushing touchdowns.


Others considered: 1967 Atlanta Falcons, 1976 Buffalo Bills, 1969 Chicago Bears, 2002 Cincinnati Bengals, 2005 Houston Texans, 1982 Baltimore Colts and Houston Oilers (wasn't a full season), 1977 Kansas City Chiefs, 2008 St. Louis Rams, 1992 New England Patriots, 1970 New Orleans Saints, 2006 Oakland Raiders, 1975 San Diego Chargers, 1992 Seattle Seahawks, 1976 Seattle Seahawks, 1994 Houston Oilers, and several Tampa Bay Bucs teams.

So where do you rank the 2008 Detroit Lions?
For me, they are top five. At this point, I believe the '76 Bucs and '91 Colts are worse, with the '01 Panthers and '81 Saints knocking on the door. There is still time for these Lions to seriously stamp their stench of failure on the 2008 season. Going 0-16 would be a nice start. Then we'd have a real battle for the top spot with those Bucs.

Tags: archie+manning, ArchieManning, cam+cameron, CamCameron, chris+weinke, ChrisWeinke, dan+orlovsky, DanOrlovsky, daunte+culpepper, DaunteCulpepper, drew+brees, DrewBrees, eric+dickerson, EricDickerson, george+seifert, GeorgeSeifert, jimmy+johnson, JimmyJohnson, ladanian+tomlinson, LadanianTomlinson, ryan+leaf, RyanLeaf, tim+couch, TimCouch, troy+aikman, TroyAikman

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