Halloween came and went and nothing says "excitement" quite like "40 small children of my fellow employees running around in front of my desk, yelling for candy and generally giving me a headache". Of course, nothing says "hiding a headache" quite like wearing a Tony Stewart jacket, sunglasses, and a Home Depot hat. But, I digress. The point is that the described work conditions forced me to finish this piece on a Sunday. But maybe ... just maybe, I will finally be able to pull out a double digit win week in my pick ems. I doubt it, but you never know.Baltimore Ravens @ Cleveland Browns (-2)
Five or six weeks ago it certainly didn't seem like the Browns had a chance to be favored at anything, unless "Being Forced to Start Brady Quinn, -755" counts. They're still negative in net points and under .500 and behind the Ravens in the division, but there is a whole lotta season left, folks.
Browns -2
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-8.5) @ Kansas City Chiefs
As a Panthers fan, I'd love to see Kansas City do some damage here. As a realist, I'm just hoping they can "Tom Brady" Jeff Garcia. Just kidding. Taking out Earnest Graham would be plenty.
Buccaneers -8.5
New York Jets @ Buffalo Bills (-6)
Isn't it awesome how not only is Deanna Favre like tooooooooooootally the reason Brett has been so good this season, but also that, um, like as mentioned above, Brady went down for the year and the Jets are still the third best team in their division? Perhaps I'm coming off as a little too hateful here, but I just wish people would grow up and admit that everything about this matchup is overrated, except the Bills.
Bills -6
Arizona Cardinals (-2.5) @ St. Louis Rams
Well, at least Jim Haslett had a magical run before he ran into the Buzzsaw. Seriously -- two wins is a huge deal when your team starts out 0-4 and ... OHMIGOD they're only two games back in this division. An Arizona win could sew this thing up, no?
Rams +2.5
Detroit Lions @ Chicago Bears (-13)
Actually taking the Bears in this particular scenario seems a bit ... bullish. Even a blackout couldn't get them a win.
Bears +13
Houston Texans @ Minnesota Vikings (-4.5)
There's a lot being lost in the shuffle of this game. Namely, that Andre Johnson is on an absolute destructive tear right now, despite never getting into the end zone. Also: the Texans defense is "not good". Couple that with a lack of passing defense for the Vikes, and this one could be fun. Adrian Peterson scares me, but I like Matt Schaub. (Clearly, I've done some serious research here.)
Texans +4.5
Green Bay Packers @ Tennessee Titans (-4)I get that the Packers are a good team, but this line (four? at home?) is a pretty clear sign re: respect that we all have for the still undefeated Titans this year. It's quite odd too, because they just took care of bid-ness against the Colts on Monday Night Football. But whatever. I'm sure there are injuries or something I should read about.
Titans -4
Jacksonville Jaguars (-7.5) @ Cincinnati Bengals
I realize the Bengals keep having a few close games, but that doesn't mean I'm going to start betting on them.
Jaguars -7.5
Miami Dolphins @ Denver Broncos (-3.5)
Ugh. There's just something unappealing about this game. Not sure if it's my hatred for Jay Cutler or the fact that Miami runs the Wildcat or, well, I just don't see myself wasting Sunday Ticket space on it.
Dolphins +3.5
Dallas Cowboys @ New York Giants (-9)
Nine points, of course, seems like to many. But then again, 79 seems too high an age to be running a professional football team. Yet, both Brad Johnson and Jerry Jones are in charge of things.
Giants +9
Philadelphia Eagles (-6.5) @ Seattle Seahawks
I'm generally a pretty large fan of the Seahawks -- this fanhood dates back to a time when I owned Shaun Alexander, Matt Hasselbeck and Koren Robinson on a fantasy team. Clearly, those times aren't here anymore. Seneca Wallace FTW.
Eagles -6.5
Atlanta Falcons (-3) @ Oakland Raiders
The Falcons bandwagon is a pretty comfortable ride, if only because there aren't a lot of people on it. Count me among said people.
Raiders +3
New England Patriots @ Indianapolis Colts (-6.5)
Holy moses that's a lot of points for a game that the Colts MUST WIN. As opposed to, you know, lose. It's crazy to think that the Colts are 3-4 and fighting for their playoffs lives and that the Pats, without Tom Brady, are 5-2 and semi-waltzing. Then you remember they play in the AFC East and it's not such a big shock.
Colts -6.5
Pittsburgh Steelers @ Washington Redskins (-2)
The whole "Barack-McCain" comparison is a little tiring, imho. I mean, I get that Boomer thinks it somehow matters, but, um, it doesn't. Or we could pretend that it does -- since Barack is cake walking, let's go ahead and take the team that will lock him into a win.
Steelers +2
