Apparently Roger Goodell Won't Suspend You for Cheap Shots to Jay Cutler's Head

With Rodney Harrison done for the year -- and maybe forever -- New England's Vince Wilfork has happily assumed the role of the league's dirtiest player. It's quite an impressive resume, really, and Wilfork's latest antics, a forearm shiver to Jay Cutler's noggin two Monday nights ago, earned him an all-expenses paid trip to New York to visit with Commissar Goodell.

Speculation had Wilfork likely receiving a fine and even a suspension for his latest transgression, but as MDS wrote this morning, and Mike Reiss later confirmed, the Patriots nose tackle will only have to write the league a check and he can get back to the business of illegally maiming opponents.

FanHouse sources* confirm that Goodell would have leveled a much stiffer punishment had Wilfork danced while perpetrating this disgusting act. Because, as the league has made perfectly clear, all crimes are not created equal. Cheap-shot head trauma is one thing; shaking your booty is something else entirely. And it WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

Plus, the new NFL Punishment Plinko Board came up "Fine but no Suspension," further validating Goodell's instincts. Makes perfect sense, really.

This concludes another edition of Arbitrary NFL Sanctions That Deter No One.

* "FanHouse sources" = "me"