Well, what do we have here? Bengals stand-in Ryan Fitzpatrick has averaged a pathetic 4.6 yards on 103 passes to rank dead last in the NFL among quarterbacks with at least 100 throws. John Thomas O'Sullivan is coming off a head-shakingly horrible game where he was sacked six times and fumbled four times.
While stats may be one of the keys to deciding to putridity, they aren't the only factors that will help guide you to the right choice. After the jump, you must weigh each side of the patented 'Tale of the Taint' before casting your vote.
|
J.T. O'Sullivan, 49ers |
TALE OF THE TAINT |
Ryan Fitzpatrick, Cincy |
|
California-Davis |
... Alma Mater ... |
Harvard |
|
Sixth (2002) |
... Round Drafted ... |
Seventh (2005) |
|
4.14 (seven games) |
... Sacks Per Game ... |
5.0 (three games) |
|
1.28 |
... Fumbles Per Game ... |
1.6 |
|
75.5 |
... QB Rating ... |
65.7 |
|
715,000 |
... Google Entries ... |
344,000 |
|
The 2-5 49ers |
... In Charge of ... |
The 0-7 Bengals |
|
Winning NFL Europa's Offensive Co-MVP Award |
... Crowning Moment ... |
Marrying Liza Barber, former captain of the Harvard soccer team |
|
Large ears, and no longer has the flowing locks pictured here |
... Odd Facial Feature ... |
Has a gargantuan cranium (with the high Wonderlic score to match it) |
|
His Wikipedia page is hacked to read "Johnny Tremain," which was a moron from a children's novel that bathed with hobos and ate pies |
... Random Knock ... |
When you try searching for Ryan Fitzpatrick in Google Images search, a lot of pictures of this emo dude come up instead |
|
NFL Europa has closed its doors, possibly practice squad in his future? |
... Probable Future ... |
Arena Football League, hometown Arizona Rattlers here I come! |
|
|
... More Annoying Headshot ... |
|
Alright, it's time to make the call. Choose wisely, FanHouse readers. For every winner of this loathsome distinction could wind up swallowed whole by The Nothing, never to be seen again. (Or they just might get a pink slip, who knows?)
Got a nomination for two putzes you'd like to see featured? Send them into the mailbag! Don't hold back now, it's not what Browning Nagle would have wanted.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
10-23-2008 @ 10:26AM
From My Cube said...
Step DOWN MIKE BROWN....
hes the cancer of the Cincinnati bengals....everything has changed since he took over in the early 90's and they still suck....I can only take so many seasons of back to back bull shit football....The NFL league owners need to put pressure on him to remove himself
Reply
10-23-2008 @ 11:27AM
MisterC said...
Voted Fitzpatrick, wish I could be voting for Orlovsky.
Reply
10-23-2008 @ 4:27PM
No Joshin said...
JT and Fitz are both bad, but how about Cowboys backup Brad Johnson... for a guy that's got a friggen ring, he is about as bad as it gets. Is Romo better yet? How about now? Now? Damn it!
http://nojoshin.blogspot.com
Reply
10-23-2008 @ 7:42PM
Stephanie Stradley said...
Notably, Fitzpatrick is facing the Texans pass defense this week. Which means no pass defense. Orlovsky got a 96 yard TD from them last week. And Fitzpatrick has also won in a game in Reliant Stadium in 2005 when he was with the Rams.
He could have an amazing game Or continue suckage.
Reply
10-26-2008 @ 11:15AM
Bob said...
WOW--These are pros?!?
Reply