Road Chalk and Alaskan Pipelines: Week 7

Road Chalk and Alaskan Pipelines is Will Brinson's weekly NFL gambling column at FanHouse. Because everyone loves a loser.

Nothing like a week of mediocrity (8-6) mixed in with a season of, um, worse than mediocrity. And, such a stellar record brings our season total to 39-47-1. Simply. Stunning.

Stunning enough, in fact, that this particular column has been referred to as "Brinson's Bad Picks" (which, in hindsight, is a much cooler name than anything else I've been able to offer).

Tennessee Titans (-9) @ Kansas City Chiefs
The Titans are the "best" team in the NFL. The Chiefs are one of the worst. Larry Johnson is out. This should be easy.

Titans -9

San Diego Chargers (-1) @ Buffalo Bills
Wow. I'm torn. On one hand, I have tremendous team crush on the Bills. On the other, Philip Rivers is your early season MVP. So, yeah. However, the Chargers are just better and they are favored on the road, so I see no reason to mess with what's worked so well thus far into 2008.

Chargers -1

Pittsburgh Steelers (-10) @ Cincinnati Bengals
It's unconventional and stupid to take a team favored by 10 on the road. But not as unconventional and stupid as taking the Bengals.

Steelers -10


Baltimore Ravens @ Miami Dolphins (-3)
I'm fairly certain that the last time Miami was favored in any game was roughly 2001. Yes, that may be an approximation. But it doesn't change the fact that it's a difficult situation to bet on. Then I realize the Wildcat offense exists.

Miami -3

Dallas Cowboys (-7) @ St. Louis Rams
Okay, so this line currently has <strike> lines through it. I assume that's because of the whole Tony Romo might or might not play business. And while I'm tempted to take the Rams anyway, just because it's the crazy "Oh yeah, I'm a blogger" thing to do, well, um, no.

Cowboys -7

Minnesota Vikings @ Chicago Bears (-3)
I'm a little concerned about a Bears team that can't put away the Falcons, and the fact that their defense spends too much time on the field at this point. Can I take the under? No, huh? Okay, um, then, yeah. Adrian Peterson. Although watching Matt Forte blow up for a single game record against the guy who set it while on my fantasy bench would be fun. And will probably happen.

Bears -3

New Orleans Saints @ Carolina Panthers (-3)
Surely you don't think a 27-3 drubbing at the hands of Jeff Garcia is going to stifle my enthusiasm?

Panthers -3

San Francisco 49ers @ New York Giants (-10.5)
I suppose that I could argue the Giants will come back "determined" or "angry" after getting embarrassed by Cleveland on Monday. Or I could just point out that San Fran sucks.

Giants -10.5

Detroit Lions @ Houston Texans (-9.5)
That's a chunk of points. But Orvlasky ran out of his own end zone. There's no way you can bet on him. Also, Andre Johnson is straight back, son.

Texans -9.5



New York Jets (-3) @ Oakland Raiders
Thomas Jones. Making everyone look good since the sixth week of 2008.

Jets -3

Cleveland Browns @ Washington Redskins (-7.5)
In hindsight, even I got caught up in the Red Kool-Aid party, taking the Skins at -14. I mean, sure, it's the Rams. But Jim Haslett was coaching. Er, it was 14 points. And I suppose since I've been taking Cleveland every week -- except for when they cover/win -- I might as well roll dice with a touchdown plus here. Plus, Braylon Edwards said it was a new season!

Browns +7.5

Indianapolis Colts @ Green Bay Packers (-2)
This could end up being easily the best game of the week. Aaron Rodgers refuses to stop toughing it out, and somehow the Colts -- despite me not mentioning it -- are climbing right back into the "best team in the NFL" realm. No seriously, they are.

Colts +2

Seattle Seahawks @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-11)
Garcia is quite good, apparently. But not 11 points good. Come on. How does Tampa keep winning?

Seahawks +11

Denver Broncos @ New England Patriots (-3)
It's absolutely nuts that the Pats are only three point favorites at home on a Monday night at home. Of course ... not as crazy as betting against them!

Broncos +3