The Debriefing: It's a Mat ... With Conclusions ... You Can Jump To (Week 9, Pt. 1)

The Debriefing is a column that runs every weekday at 9:00 a.m. here on FanHouse. It goes deep into one issue and then bounces around to a plethora of smaller ones ... and does it all in a way that will make you feel like the prettiest girl at the cotillion. Bookmark this page, and visit daily.



Part II's coming tomorrow, and we'll bounce around to the rest of the league then, but for today ... our mat has just one conclusion:

Conclusion #1:
The Patriots and Colts are alone at the top of the NFL.

I'm Not Jumping. Keeping my feet planted to the ground on this one are the Pittsburgh Steelers, and the Pittsburgh Steelers alone. The Patriots and Colts are head and shoulders above 29 other NFL teams. The Steelers are that 30th team.

With Pittsburgh, it's not a matter of quality, it's a matter of style. And the style preferred by Mike Tomlin -- namely, lining up against you and smacking you in the mouth until you cry -- is the best and only way to attack New England or Indianapolis. The Steelers are in the best position to do that.

(Also at the bottom: I pick my college basketball national champion, because it makes perfect sense to do that right now ... Hint: it rhymes with "Nemphis" ... Mike Tirico may not be the greenest guy in the world ... I don't care if the Colts are pumping in artificial crowd noise, and I care even less about Patriots fans who use it as a way to justify Bill Belichick's actions ... James Harrison becomes a superstar ... and much more...)

It's dumb luck that it worked out that way, but the Week 9 NFL schedule was perfect for the league and the fans. Every game on Sunday other than Patriots/Colts was either forgettable, meaningless, or boring, leaving the big stage empty for the big game.

And then, 24 hours later, another team had the stage and the spotlight to themselves ... and the Pittsburgh Steelers took advantage of that to tell the rest of the NFL, "Hey, don't forget about us, ladies."

There might be teams out there as good as Pittsburgh (Baltimore, as you may have noticed, isn't one of them), but to counter the offensive firepower of the two best teams in the league, being good isn't enough ... you have to be good in a certain way.

You're not going to go score-for-score against the Colts or Patriots, and you probably can't match their talent at the skill positions (if you can, you're probably the Cincinnati Bengals, in which case, the world is laughing at you for a multitude of other reasons). To hang with either of the two big guns, you're going to need to play ball control, to be physically stronger on both sides of the ball, and chase the opposing quarterbacks like they're made of ham, and you're a malnourished rottweiller.

The Steelers are the best qualified team to do that. Here's their resume for that job description:

• 2nd in the league in rushing yards per game (behind only Minnesota, who received a sizable boost this weekend, courtesy of the San Diego Chargers)
• 1st in time of possession per game
• 1st in 3rd down conversion percentage
• 1st in the league in passing yards per game allowed
• 4th in rushing yards per game allowed
• T-2nd in the NFL in sacks
• 4th in the NFL in opposing QB passer rating

And again, while you won't be able to match the Colts or Pats at the skill positions ... you do need a playmaker or two. To this point, I give you the 2007 version of Ben Roethlisberger.

It occurred to me last night that at this very moment, Large Benjamin, with Michael Vick soon to be paying an extended visit to Rae Carruth, is probably the most physically-gifted quarterback in the league.

His arm is as strong as anyone's (or is at least worthy of comparison), he's got great size at 6'5", he's very mobile, he might be the best in the league at throwing while being mobile, and is the hardest quarterback to bring down in the NFL.

Note that I didn't say the hardest to sack ... that's Peyton Manning, with his lightning release, quick reads, and ability to feel the rush. But Roethlisberger is stronger than an ox on the Rodney Harrison HGH program. On the first of his five first-half TD passes last night, 6'5", 290-lb. Trevor Pryce had a clean shot at him, and Large Benjamin just shrugged him off. Pryce looked like a toddler trying to bring Roethlisberger down.

From there, Large Benjamin rolled left, and found Heath Miller in the endzone. He's got an amazing ability to keep plays alive, wait for the coverage to break down, and then make a throw on the run that had absolutely nothing to do with the original playcall. He's a playmaker, when there's not a play to be made.

The Steelers do have those two bizarre losses to the Cardinals and Broncos, which are difficult to explain away (particularly the Denver loss). But this isn't college football ... you can't point to losses to bad teams and say, "Oh, they're no good." In fact, it would actually be easier hold those against Pittsburgh if the losses were to better teams.

The Arizona loss, I can sort of understand ... it was on the road, Ken Whisenhunt and Russ Grimm wanted that game more than any game they've ever played in their lives, and the Cardinals, at that point, still believed that they were a football team with a chance to be something other than miserable. Early in the year, you might lose a game like that. I'm willing to strike that one from the record.

This does leave the loss to Denver unexplained, other than to just call it a fluke. I'm sorry to use the F word on you, Broncos fans, but after this weekend's beating at the hands of the Lions, I trust that it's not much of a stretch for you to believe that, either.

And don't think this is all just a knee-jerk reaction to that savage, bloodthirsty, remorseless pounding of the Ravens last night. After getting mauled twice by the Ravens last year, the Steelers wanted that game last night as bad as Arizona wanted that Week 4 game against Pittsburgh.

These were "perfect storm" circumstances. It was on Monday night, where the Steelers have been historically unbeatable, they were honoring their 75th anniversary team, it was played in a monsoon, the Ravens couldn't hold on to the football, and Steve McNair is not very good anymore. I'm willing to strike this one from the record, too.

But I'd still believe that the Steelers were in a position to make the AFC (and thus, the Super Bowl) a three-team race. At the very least, their presence makes New England's win on Sunday even more important ... not just because it gets them closer to home field advantage in the playoffs, but it also probably helps them avoid Pittsburgh in the divisional round.





Four Getty Images used to this point, all four of them by Chris McGrath. Chris McGrath is in the zone right now.






James Harrison. I'm guessing that James Harrison jersey sales are skyrocketing in Pittsburgh right now. That was as good of a one-man-wrecking-crew performance as you'll ever see. He forced two fumbles, both in textbook helmet-on-football tackles ... he also recovered a fumble, intercepted a pass, and had 2.5 sacks in the first half.

If the Ravens offense played him 11-on-1 last night, I'm guessing the final score would've been about 38-12, Steelers. He was just like Joey Porter in his prime for Pittsburgh ... except 735 times better. In fact, if Joey Porter was watching that game last night, I bet even he was sitting there thinking, "Wow, they made a good decision to get rid of me."



Tony Kornheiser. I spent all last season giving reviewing Tony Kornheiser's performance in his first season on Monday Night Football ... and I was less than kind. Looking back, it may have been unfair to put him under that close of a microscope, but still, the end result on ESPN was pretty brutal.

So I guess it's only fair, now that we're halfway into his second season, to say that I think he's much better this year. He's got better chemistry with Ron Jaworski, he's got a better sense of timing for what to say and when. It's a hard job, and he's better in his second year than he was in the first.

But if I'm going to point that out, I also have to say that he's probably at his peak right now, and he's still not adding anything to the broadcast. He's less invasive ... he does far less damage to the broadcast this year. But he's probably not going to get any better than he is right now, and he's just not that good.

Sorry, Tony. I still love him on PTI, but it's well past time to yank the plug on him being in the booth.





I see you eyeballing the undercarriage, Mr. Skater Man.



Deserving Of Your Full Attention ...

10:00, VS. Sports Unfiltered with Dennis Miller. I'm kind of excited about this ... even if the 30-second promo doesn't look all that promising. Dennis Miller's still got enough of a track record to get the benefit of the doubt. The guest for the first show is Al Michaels, or, as you may know him better, "Albeeno."

Other Stuff ...

7:00, VS. NHL. New York Rangers @ New York Islanders.
7:30, ESPN2. College Football. Central Michigan @ Western Michigan.
8:00, NFL Network. NFL Replay. Adrian Peterson violates the San Diego Chargers.
9:00, FOX. House.
10:30, ESPN2. NBA Coast-to-Coast.
10:30, NFL Network. NFL Replay. Packers vs. Chiefs.