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Week 7 NFL Power Rankings: The Mike Tysons, 1-8

Posted Oct 25, 2006 1:48AM By mjd (RSS feed)

Filed Under: NFL Power Rankings

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1.
Chicago		 Rex Grossman spent the bye week on the set of ESPN's NFL Countdown, being felt up by Ron Jaworski, and being the most lucid, coherent, likable Chicago Bears luminary on the set (I'm looking at you, Ditka). Apparently, the only person who can rival Grossman's popularity in Chicago is Barack Obama, and just imagine how popular Grossman would be if he only turned the ball over five times last week.
2.
Indianapolis		 I am aching to move them down, because there's something not right about this team. It's called "defense." Unfortunately, Denver has the same problem with something called "offense," Philadelphia lost, San Diego lost, and I'm not quite that confident in New Orleans yet.
3.
Philadelphia		 I'm aware that they jumped three places after a loss, but I tend not to put much weight on losses that are sort of ... fluky. No disrespect to the Bucs intended (though I'm sure some will be taken), but how many times is Ronde Barber going to score twice, how many times is Donovan McNabb going to throw three interceptions, and how many times is Matt Bryant going to make a 62-yarder? I'll tell you what ... if there's another game this year when Ronde Barber scores twice and Matt Bryant hits a 62-yarder, I'll move the Bucs to the top spot for a week, I'll have their old effeminate Pirate logo tatooed on my left buttock, and I will go to a bar called "The Manhole" and proudly display it to everyone there.
4.
Denver		 I'm not going to say anything about this team's offense, which won't stand up to the pressures of the playoffs, and I'm not going to say anything about the fact that they should've beaten the Raiders and Browns by about 21 points each ... I'm just going to compliment their defense, and, in light of the Bears lackluster defensive performance their last time out, anoint it the best in the NFL.
5.
New Orleans		 In light of the fact that the Saints offensive line started the season with new starters at every position, the following stats are amazing: they've given up just six sacks this year, and they lead the NFL in fewest sacks allowed per pass. Now, a lot of that is also due to Drew Brees replacing Aaron Brooks and his "run backwards and throw the football in an unspecified direction if time allows" approach to quarterbacking, but it's still pretty remarkable for the Saints. Saints vs. Ravens looks like a great matchup next week.
6.
New England		 I'm not concerned about the Patriots offense. As Chad Jackson and Doug Gabriel start to make more and more contributions, the offense is going to get better as the season goes. Their secondary concerns me, though. They've got Minnesota this week, and if Brad Johnson doesn't test it, Peyton Manning certainly will in Week 9.
7.
San Diego		 I should probably move them down further ... not because they slept through the first quarter against the Chiefs and lost a winnable game, but because the possible suspension of Shawne Merriman for four games is the kind of thing that could potentially derail an entire season. If they lose to a very good Rams team this weekend, they're suddenly on a losing streak, their best defensive player could miss four games, and things could just snowball. It's a slippery little slope the Bolts are on. Some traction this Sunday against a very good Rams team is a necessity.
8.
NY Giants		 The New York Giants, skyrocketing up the list. You know, when people talk about the win over the Cowboys on Monday night, they'll mention the poor play of Drew Bledsoe and Tony Romo, but Drew Bledsoe and Tony Romo didn't have much to do with the Giants scoring 36 points. Okay, maybe Romo had a lot to do with the last 7. But this is still an offense that, when getting consistent contributions from Plaxico Burress and Jeremy Shockey, can be nearly unstoppable. If this team is peaking at the right time ... it could be one of those teams.


Week 7 NFL FanHouse Power Rankings: The Mike Tysons, 1-8
Week 7 NFL FanHouse Power Rankings: The Soda Popinskis, 9-16
Week 7 NFL Power Rankings: The Don Flamencos, 17-24
Week 7 NFL FanHouse Power Rankings: The Glass Joes, 25-32

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