Houston Texans Cheerleaders: 2005 MVP

The "no cheerleaders" thing merges well with my reasoning towards how Matt Millen keeps his job.

When I see something that is beyond comprehension, I find that it can usually be figured out by working backwards. Starting with the statement "Matt Millen still has his job," one can work backwards and discover that:

- His hold on the owner is such that his QB and (2) WR draft picks have failed in all but one case.

- The team makes terribly poor free agent decisions.... even allowing M'n'M to bring in MORE wideouts.

- Going beyond Joey and Rogers/M.Williams, none of the other draft picks in the later rounds really worked out, either.

- A series of ineffective coaches have been brought in.

- The Millen Man March shows that the fan base has been totally alienated.

- The team had a 30 year bad period, before getting steadily WORSE under the namesake of the Millen Man March.

Working backwards doesn't solve the problem, though... in fact, what reads as "things that happened to get Matt Millen fired" actually turns into "Matt Millen's 5 year extension kicked in in 2005"...

It boggles the mind... until Stephanie Stradley fleshes out a variable that, while unremarkable by itself, helps solve the mystery. It also makes sense of another variable.

More than one person has probably looked at the Lions uniforms and thought "Lions aren't blue." Others have commented that the old Lion jerseys were about the same color you'd decorate a baby boy's room with.

One might think "sissy" when looking at the old Lion uniforms. You may not go right out and call Boss Bailey a sissy, but he didn't pick the unis out, either.

The move to add some black to the uniform seems a bit overcompensatory, but it can be understood when examined alongside the absence of cheerleaders.

While cheerleaders may seem like an automatic thing to have with the football team, it requires an active decision to hire them. It also requires an active decision to NOT hire them.

Who doesn't like cheerleaders? Men love the smiles and the curves. Women look at them nostagically. So, who's against them? Fat girls and homosexuals. I probably don't need to add that there are no fat women managing the Detroit Lions, but it looks like I just did.

Thank God that the L's owner showed some restraint, or it might look like Chippendale's out there when he loses control.

That won't happen, though. Not with a strong young man like Matt Millen around. A guy with a trophy wife doesn't buy the convertible, and a guy with no interest in female cheerleaders will give you male cheerleaders unless he has either:

- a nice strong pair of shoulders to lean on from behind

or

- a strong, steady presence behind him... right behind him.

Millen is obviously giving the owner the Heimlech. Sadly, the one benefit about having two homosexuals run your team- the fact that even during sex, both guys can still watch the game- is working against the Lions at this point.

This "working backwards" thing also works with the Millen thing to make sense of what passes as an amazing statement in the Michigan area, especially in late October... "Thank God we still have the Tigers.

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wow, the cheerleaders are really beautiful, Id like to try out someday to be on the team, plus i really look like that girl who is looking up to the sky and has pom poms

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