Yesterday, Peyton Manning put exactly 400 passing yards up in the Colts' 43-24 buttocks rendering of the Texans. You might think that this is a result of the Colts being a better team, or that it is a result of the catastrophic and complete failure of the Texans defense.
No, that is just the conventional theory. A more in depth view reveals the sinister truth: Peyton Manning is Evil, and that he has a pact with Mephistopheles.
The Peyton stayed in the game late, and kept throwing the ball down field. (Kind of like the DirecTV commercials showing the Peyton throwing a late TD on the Titans).
A less evil Manning might have given the ball to his running back to eat up clock time. The Peyton might claim he was taking what the defense was giving him, but it is my belief that this is just a cover for his wicked, stat padding ways.
Apparently, the Peyton has no risk of injury because of his pact with Lucifer. If he gets hurt, basically Indy's season is screwed. The Texans kept pressuring the Peyton and sacked him two times in the third and fourth quarters. Why did Tony Dungy risk Indy's season by not removing his starting quarterback during junk time? Or protecting him at least by using the running game? Dungy must be an evil minion who knows of the Peyton's nefarious pact that protects the Colts' QB from grievous injury. Either that or he has the Peyton on his fantasy team.
All gesticulating at the line that the Peyton does? No, he is not directing the offense, rather he is performing ritualistic signs and signals to his evil master. Just think about it. Think. About. It.
I believe good eventually triumphs over evil. This explains why the Peyton has never been to the Superbowl.
Okay, my theory might be wrong. But I think Texans fans should get a moral pass for wishing for the Peyton's head on a stick when he keeps throwing the ball deep after the game is well in hand. You would think that someday the Peyton would get hurt slinging up yards in junk minutes, but I'm guessing he and El Diablo are not concerned.
Comments (Page 1 of 4)
I think that the Texans need to give Rosenfel a chance to bring the team out of this slump,Carr is just not the Q.B.for the job,coaches should see the same thing that the fans are seeing. (frank sr)
It is not Peyton Mannings job to protect the inflated ego's and diminished heart of the Texan's. In most of the NFL it is grown up, smash mouth football. In the world of the Texan Infection there is worry of hurting their feelings. Gag.
Soon Peyton will join Benneto Latini in the 7th Circle of Hell
soon Peyton will take his rightful place in the 7th Circle of Hell alongside Brunetto Latini.
I couldn't agree more. Peyton is the worst...his ego is out of control. Get Sorgi some playing time but no...he needs to throw 400 yards.
I hate him.
Can't say I blame him. When you see a defense ranked last in the league and a team that gives up close to 500 yards a game you want your share. Also the fact that Sorgi is still nursing a bruised shoulder might have been another reason Peyton overstayed his welcome. The question now is, With Philly and Indy ranked 1 & 2 in total offensive, are they that good or is the Texan's defense that bad?
Larry-
I'm guessing the Texans defense may just be that bad. They have had little to show that said otherwise.
Jim-
Just to clarify, I wasn't say that Manning shouldn't run up the score. I was just wondering why he was still in the game throwing the ball, when he could have eaten up clock handing off to the RB. I am guessing fat stats are more important to the Colts than making sure their meal ticket doesn't get killed in a game where the Texans sacked him twice after the game was out of hand.
In smashmouth football, Manning can play Madden and keep throwing the ball, and some day someone is going to get to him and nail him even when he didn't have to be in the game.
My only conclusion is that he must have a pact with the devil if they aren't worrying about him being nicked up in junk time. YRMV.
Thanks for reading and commenting.
-Steph
Please understand that in divisional matchups an opponents objective is to run up as many points as possible. This is in case of a divisional tie-breaker. This is what Tony Dungy teaches.
The Peyton was following orders
The Colts were trying to run the clock out...the Texans kept calling timeouts with under 5 minutes left in the game. I know one of the Colts' linemen...apparently Houston kept up the trash talking even when the outcome was decided. They brought it on themselves. Before you start bad-mouthing, you should do a little research.
Am I detecting some defensiveness on this issue from Colts fans????
Is it because you do not really believe that the Peyton is buds with Beelzebub??? I ask this because as a Colt fan, don't you feel a little uncomfortable when Manning is getting sacked in the 4th quarter?
And the only way I figure you don't feel uncomfortable with this is if you feel: 1. completely comfortable about your backup situation; or 2. your quarterback is pals with Satan and you know everything will be cool. Number 1 is out of the question, so I am guessing 2 is the more likely.
Hey, it's your quarterback. Just don't come running back to me crying when he gets decapitated putting up more passing stats.
Cheers,
Steph
Even I wouldnt draft a Manning into my ranks.
The Colts clean your clock and this is what you are saying?
"defensiveness"? This is the National Football League. The objective was to beat the Texans behinds. There isnt one Colts fan who is going to be "defensive" on this issue.
Good thing your fantastic management didn't take Reggie Bush huh? :)
You have much bigger issues than Peyton Manning.
I'm on your side Steph. I know first hand what it feels like to have your team look so promising only to suck bowling balls better than a brand new $4k Hoover. It's natural to reach out for some mythical explanation. Besides if the Peyton were with the Satan, he might have tried to bargain his way out of the Manning family, where falling one game short is a family tradition and always will be. I predict Eli will be an alcoholic by the age of 33 with less hair than the Peyton.
.....the Peyton..LOL- Ju-fonny!
Well, Fred Flintstone, if that is your real name, heck yeah, as a Texans fan I am writing that the Peyton worships the devil. It's a lot more fun than just mentioning the buttocks rendering.
I'm just saying in an alternative reality, it would be sucks for you if Babin would have messed up Manning when he sacked him in the 4th.
The Texans have enough sucky stuff I suppose without wondering about the injury defying ability of the Peyton and whether the Colts are able to run to eat clock (because that might come in handy against a team that has a defense).
Texas will have a great team like the colts someday. Dont feel bad the colts sucked for many years I know i had season tickets. Good luck next week guys hang in there. colts fan
Yes Mr. Flinstone. We should have taken Bush. We could have used his 0.8 yards per carry yesterday.
Now tell Wilma to get the dishes out of the pelican's mouth and rinse them off with the elephant's trunk.
If you don't like loosing by so many points then stop'em. It is easy as that. Otherwise go play some college ball.
the texans took a timeout with 2:44 left on the clock. the next play, manning attempted his only pass of the drive. this happens all the time with the colts. they whip up on a team but said team keeps calling timeouts. if you know football, you should be able to answer that question.
question, when your trailing by 20-30 points with under three minutes left to play, why do they call timeouts?
Actually the Colts were working the clock in the 4Q yesterday until the Texans pissed them off by taking timeouts in an attempt to extend a game they had no chance of winning. So, the Colts went ahead and scored on them both times this happened. Dungy should've put the Colts starting D back in to knock Carr on his ass a few more times and maybe Kubiak would've learned a lesson.
Steph,
I have to admire you and your witty banter. Peyton has made a deal with the devil. How cute!! But I must point out, that it is NOT the Colt's fans, Peyton Manning's or ANYONE affiliated with the Indianapolis Colts organization's fault that the Houston Texans are unable to defend them. Last I checked, your team had a full week to prepare for the game, and apparently chose to devote their time learning how to escort the Colts downfield with as little resistance as possible. This is not your local Pee Wee football league where everyone should play a quarter no matter what the outcome of the game might be. These are grown men playing a grown up game. If you have issues with Peyton running up his "stats" on your defenseless Texans, might I suggest you take that issue up with Bob McNair (owner), Rick Smith (GM), Gary Kubiak (Head Coach) or Richard Smith (Def. Coord.). THESE people ARE the ones to blame for your inability to stop the Colt's offense, not the other way around.
Have a nice day and season
Dose of Reality